Deeply Disturbed by BBC Propaganda of the Solomon Squad

I don’t watch television except for the odd movie. I dispise the box of Solomon Squad propagada in the corner of my living room. In light of the recent killing of drummer Lee Rigby in London by the two suspects I took an interest in how the Zionist (Solomon Squad) media would report on it. Being experienced in media, editing etc I can easily idtentify techniques used when telling a story to the public. I posted this video on my facebook status and pointed out with commentrary how it was edited (ie: jump cuts – information edited out, the reporters voice over the killers speech – so we are denied what he had to say) and as he asked everybody to video it, nothing has emerged in media that hasn’t been edited this way by ‘The Solomon Squad’ who totally control the media. Where is the video the public took? We can’t have access to it, is that not obvious we live in a Fascist Regime? Anyway here’s that video (now removed due to a copyright claim by ITN) my point entirely, when we go on holiday, to concerts etc we take video and upload it, so where is all the video the public took of that event? like the Boston Bombins all media released to the public had gone through censorship and approval. It is beyond a joke that our information is carefully controlled. Anyway here is another link, if this doesn’t work I suggest serching ‘Woolwich Attack’ and see how Zionist media companies like BBC, The Sun, etc stamp their control (logo) all over it.

A day later I came across this video. which I shared on my facebook page along with my words ‘A brave BBC reporter actually does journalism isntead of propaganda’, some brave and honest men here and we’d be wise to listen’..

Today I put on BBC radio4 because I like the plays but there was a current affairs program on and I heard the interview above was considered ‘A BBC ERROR OF JUDGEMENT’ and the politicians and the BBC have taken steps which include banning Asghar Bukhari from ever appearing on the BBC again! WTF, WTF, SO OUTRAGED BY THE BBC PROPAGANDA I POSTED THE VIDEO AGAIN WITH MY RANT ON WHY CENSORSHIP OF TRUTH BY THE ZIONIST BBC IS A DISGUSTING INJUSTICE ON THE UK PUBLIC.

I’m deeply distured to just hear on the BBC this interview (which I posted here the other day) is considered ‘A BBC MISTAKE’ A ‘BAD EDITORIAL JUDGEMENT’ and have banned Asghar Bukhari from appearing on the BBC ever again. How can we live in a ‘democracy’ when those who disagree with the policies of society are silenced, banned and sent to jail! We are in the dark ages, like Medievel Britain, hanged for heracy against the government. Here Ashar Bukhari suggest the Muslims (like the brutal killers of the drummer Lee Rigby) are angered by British foreigh policy, which means they are disgusted that Britain has destroyed Irac and Afghanistan and is currently arming the rebels in Syria and is involved in more wars and bloodshed than you and I care to know. British Foreign Policy is what is ‘radicalising’ muslims, suggest Ashar and he’s not wrong (listen to the rant of the killer – politically motivated as an act of revenge for all the blood shed in ‘his lands’) so how can saying it be wrong? ‘A BBC editorial mistake’? We do not like the truth. Bradley Manning a soldier currently in jail for sharing the truth about ‘foreign policy’ (see Collateral Murder on youtube). It is not only muslims who are aware of the brutality of ‘British foreign policy’ but a growing number of ‘Truth Seekers’ and here the BBC interviewer steers the interview towards the public perception of those sat at home watching TV thinking our military presence in Afghanistan is helping (it clearly isn’t and only those who sit at home watching TV can think that – this message was a direct message to them to wake up to the reality). I thought it was especially brave as the BBC is biased and highly sensored being totally controlled by Zionist. Asghar said (Wikipedia) “Bukhari said that he felt that Irving was, “being smeared for nothing more than being anti-Zionist” and that the “pro-Israeli lobby often accuse[s] people of anti-Semitism.” This is NOT A FREE COUNTRY (we can’t even hear the truth) but a FASCIST REGIME one controlled entirely by a pro Solomon state and NWO.

And I followed it up with a little evidence.

A free book here ‘The Hidden History of Zionism’ wonder why this never appeared on Richard & Judy’s book

It’s terrible. I can only do my bit in sharing the truth, but when the truth is a threat to ‘The Solomon Squad’ it makes me a target to be silenced. It’s terrible really, while the psychopaths are running the world with war we could just as easily be living in a world of peace. I dread to think what the New World Order will bring, sacrifices to Moloch, de-humanised plastic looking people (they push the transhumanism through popular culture, like music video and movies – when was the last time you saw an ugly person in the media? – but plastic and fake is ugly when it’s not natural – please remember that and learn to love the natural instead of the artificial), and who know, I’m done with this post..

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440hz and 432hz

Quick post.

I came upon this video, curious to know if I could tell the difference between two sound frequencies.

Frequency A

Frequency B

On hearing the first few notes on video A, I was completely in tune with it, it resonated with me and it felt good. I then listened to the second video at frequency B and it didn’t connect with me at all, sounded tinny, unemotional, did nothing for me,  opposed to the melodic and warm sensation I got from the first version.

Not knowing which frequency was which, I found this which answered my question.

It seems I prefer the 440hz version. Curious to learn more I listened to this, and the speaker says the music he was listening to made him angry because it was tuned to 440hz. I thought, surely not, surely it’s mood related, if I’m in an ubeat mood and there is slow music playing it will irritate the life out of me, if I’m in a chilled mood and there’s so pop music playing it will irritate me so I’m not convinced that music can make you mad, unless it contradicts your mood, so regardless of hertz, slow melodic music can drive a person as mad as anything if they’re not in a slow melodic mood. Here him speak.

So I listened to the tune he was refering to here:

I was unmoved by the music, it was just sound to me.

That was that, end of. So I thought, until..

Half an hour later I was shouting at my son for leaving the toasie machine on for 3 hours yesterday! The thing is I’m never angry, I never shout at him and there I was, going on about how much it would have cost in electricity to keep it hot for 3 hours, I also threw in the fact he’d left the house without locking the door and I couldn’t trust him to do anything, the house could have set on fire and bla bla bla. Then I stopped and said ‘Wait a minute, why do I feel angry, it can’t possibly be because I’ve just been subjecting myself to certain sound frequencies, CAN IT?

I can’t believe it can do that to a person, where’s the logic in that, but it’s very unusual for me to get irate about things and there I was, so just incase sound frequencies influence mood and aggression I thought I’d better tune into the recovery frequency of 528hz before I go to bed!

And now I feel fine 🙂

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Cats come calling to answer a calling from what?..

The temperature were -2 degrees on the weather report and something floating by the window caught my eye, I pulled back the curtain to see if it was snowing and there was a cat sat on the outside table, not surprised at seeing a cat becaue over the past 2 weeks for some strange and unknown reason many cats have appeared in my garden, and not to attracted by an would be feme feline because the two cats in  my house are male. I was especially surprised a few days ago, when one of the cats appeared that I have not seen for some years, he use to walk on my wall daily, a big fat tabby that I haven’t seen for some 5 years. Infact, it gots so strange seeing all these cats that I wondered if it was something to do with the time of year, I wanted to document the strange phenomena that was taking place with the local cat population and see if it happened again same time next year.

Looking through the window and seeing the cat sat on the table as snow genly fell about it was incredible because this wasn’t just another local cat, this use to be MY cat, Felix. I haven’t seen him for years, he was a cat that I rescued from a neighbours neglect about 10 years ago, a cute black and white kitten left out in the cold to meow day and night at the back door of a house the owners had moved out of. The cat became a member of our houshold for several years, but as he became older and having not been spayed he grew restless and strayed. Every couple of years I would see him somewhere in the neighbourhood, I would call him over and stroke him, talk to him and then not see him again for a few years. Like bumping into an old friend and each time he looked fine so I had no worries, just glad to see him alive and well.

So Felix sat on my garden table, what had brought him back to the home he once had so long ago. This is not uncommon I know, many cats stray for years and return, but why so many cats around my place these past two weeks? I guess whatever attracted the others, also attracted Felix, I don’t think for one minute he got sentimental and thought he’d pay us a visit, I don’t for one minute think he was hungry ( I let him in but he didn’t each much), he was in fine feckle and not needing of anything, although it was freezing outside and he became reluctant to leave the warmth of the house, each time I opened the door to let him out at his request, he was walk out and then straight back in again not liking the snow and the cold. Hehe.

But it got me wondering, what brought all those cats out, I have seen about 11 and that’s very unusual, something attracted them, but what? And why?

Take Felix turning up after years, I don’t think he’ll have thought about where he was going, he just followed his instincts and ended up sat on that table, that just happened to be the house he use to live. Perhaps a scent or an electro magnetic path of somesort, or a noise or something he just instinctively followed, like all the others, it was no coincidence I am certain of that.

I can not comprehend what it must be like to be a cat,  I am aware it’s easy to assign human thoughts and characteristics to feline behaviours which is of course foolish. I remember when playing a video of sound frequencies and at a certain frequency was astounded to discover the cat’s in my house would appear as if from no-where and try to get to the source of the sound, it was a bizarre experience, the noise (vibration) attracted them and they seemed powerless to resist its calling. See here for that post about cats and sound.

If only we knew! and it’s a reminder there’s so much going on around us that we can not see or comprehend and are not ever aware of that its certainly a very magical and mysterious planet.

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Synchronicies 2 (an example)


As in the picture I made & uploaded above I would just like to touch upon the mystical and magical world of synchronicies. I have wrote here before on the same topic, but thought I’d document this also.

Yesterday I was on a train and through the window I could see the perfect sphere of the sun disk, it was white behind grey cloud and I knew I had to express the view in art somehow. On getting home and inspired I immediately set to work on it.

There is no question about the creative process, I never sit there thinking ‘Now then what can I create today’ it is always a need to share something and sometimes it can feel like I’m nothing more than a medium for other worldy enterties to manifest their expression, at those times it’s almost like there is battle going on for my skills and time, that of course is just an idea, another way of looking at the creative process, but really I have so many projects on the go and more and more good ideas just keep on coming to me which I’m compelled, if not obliged to materialise and mediate to others.

Because my time is so stretched with manifesting arts in various forms from poetry to animations to one-off pictures and whole novels and anything and everything else in between, when I sat down to realise the inspiration I had yesterday I knew I couldn’t allocate much time to it. For that reason the first image (above top left) was created within an 1/2 hour, quite crudely for me,  it isn’t a great piece of fine art, but the idea is what I needed to communicate. I put a white sun disk in and realised the viewer wouldn’t know if it was the sun or the moon or indeed a balloon, I thought here it would be more interesting if I put in an unmistakeable image of the moon. So we could say here, the power of the moon made manifest over the power of the sun (in this instance) which is another way of looking at it. I did intend it to only be the one image, but went with the flow and within another 2 hours I had created a short story. Which when run together as frames is an animation, although a few frames (images) disappeared off my pc and I didn’t bother to re-do them because I didn’t want to dedicate too much time to it. It’s far from perfect but I’m happy to have made and mediated what manifested from that image I saw through the train window 🙂

But today, just 24 hours later I could hardly believe my eyes when the image top right poped up on my pc screen! My breath is literally taken away as my brain tries to comprehend how this strange & mystical ‘coincidence’ can happen.

I don’t honestly know, a logical mind can rationalise and come up with statistics and psychology and neural networks and such but the mystic mind will say there is a growing unified consciousness of all living things,  an awakening and those awakened to the higher realms of consciousness will speak of such synchronicies. Alan Moore described them well when writing ‘Watchmen’ which would be a great movie for study into esoteric synchronicities, clearly observable by anyone familiar with the phenomena.

The image below is the storyboard in thumbnails I created as a result of that view from the train window.

baluna storyboard

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I haven’t written here for ages, I no longer feel it a necessary part of my life to share knowledge or my research or my experiences, I am content to just be, no one needs to know other than me.

I see in my last post titled ‘Enlighted’ I had a vent about one of my sisters, although I never stated the person who attacked me was a sister. All 5 of her sisters (inc myself) don’t speak to her (all for different reasons) but she will never recognise she is the problem, even my deceased brothers wife and son don’t speak to her, perhaps because she intefeared in their lives, that’s what control freaks do, and they are always right because their ego doesn’t allow them to see another persons perspective, their minds are blind to realities. Ego is so interesting, I like to think I’ve killed mine but it still raises it’s ugly head now and then. Being aware of it is incredibly self empowering.

Anyway I came here for some writing practice because I’d like to pick up an unfinished story project and thought a ramble here would be good. I love a good story and I’ve been terribly disappointed with the majority of movies I am getting through my television. My own stories are far more interesting, weather fact or fiction so I’d like to share these with other story fans and will go about make them manifest.

Youtube is my main source of movies these days, I put in ‘sci-fi full movie’ into the searech and this movie Cypher was quite excellent.

Damn, my writing practice has reminded me how shit I am it it, my grammar and spelling is (damn it ‘are’) attrocious! hehe.

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I recently found myself in a situation where I had to be amongst people I really don’t like. The reason I don’t like the people is because they are horrible, they are liars, control freaks, manipulative, deceptive, materialistic, angry, violent, bullying hypocrits! They (4 or 5 of them) have all been extremely horrible to me, infact I would say abusive towards me for many years, which is why I choose not to be around these people, ejecting them from my life following many instances of unbelievably nasty behaviour. But circumstances meant I had to be strong and endure them again, even though I knew it was only temporary it still wasn’t easy being alone amonst them.

I was sleeping & was awoken by being slammed against the wall and told by one of them they were leaving because if they didn’t they’d punch me through the fucking wall!!! lol, holy fuck! lol, what the holy shit was that about? Then this person lied and said to others that it was me who attacked them? lol, I have to laugh because that is typical of how pathetic these people are. Why didn’t this person just leave without waking me up & being violent towards me if they had a problem with me?  I guess it’s because they’re not cabable of rational thought and being a control freak had to try and control my emotions to give them ‘power’ over me, but it does’t work with me, I’m aware of their motivations and I can see straight through them, and they certainly don’t impact upon me. I honestly think their issues are their own ignorance.

Anway back in my normal world where many other decent people refuse to have anything to do with the nasty person I mention above, I told the story of that incident to one of them because I thought it a story of psychology worth sharing, the decent person I told, who also ejected this nasty person from their life replied “She’s nothing more than a nasty, vindictive, spiteful cow” who she’ll never forgive for what she did to her, which I guess was conformation my thoughts on her are not deluded when there are so many others who refuse to know that ‘nasty, vindictive, spiteful cow’ who woke me up with a fist in my face just to tell me she had to leave before she punched me though the fucking wall! lol. I must point out here I hadn’t done anything to provoke that, I had been friendly to this person despite her dispicable behaviour towards me in the past. I know ignorant people distort things to fit with their world view and I know any attempt to communicate rationally with them is futile. It’s impossible to reason with unreasonable people, I have learned that important lesson through experience. Anyway they really are insignificant and I tell that story mostly to demonstate ignorant attitudes and to lead into the relevent bit of this post below.

My point; while I was forced to be back in the material world amongst these people, whom I quite secretely found interesting specimins as research into the ignorant culture (haha) who demonstrated anger, inability to accept difference, incapable of a conversation, expressed prejudices and stupid presumptions, and however arrogant I may sound I hardly found them intelligent life forms, but whatever, I really couldn’t wait to get back to my ‘normal’ life, I really missed ‘something’ and it made me realise how rich my world has become without having anything, and this is what I found myself longing to get back to. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced ‘missing’ something from my life before. I’ve never missed people, places or posessions, I can only describe what I was missing as being ‘this other thing‘ and this other ‘thing’ has become a big part of my life and I’ve become incredible attached to it, like a partner perhaps, it is some sort of love affair, and without it I began to notice a longing.

Curious to know what I had experienced I have just googled a few key words and stumbled upon the below, there are no better words to describe what I was experiencing. “This is so attractive, so magnetic, that it cannot be actually forgotten, only displaced by the usual contents and concerns of life.

Enlightenment Clearly Explained

By Sufi George

The experience of enlightenment is simple to state. It is the experience of awareness only, awareness that is aware of nothing at all except the existence of awareness itself.

During the experience of awareness, the thought-processing mind is empty, body awareness is lost, there is no feeling, all reality disappears. There is nothing in the imagination, there is nothing anywhere. It is an experience of nothing, of the void.

The key understanding that results from this experience of pure nothing is that one is still alive even when everything is gone. One realizes that one’s existence does not depend on anything except awareness itself. One realizes that awareness is the primal reality, the permanent core of ourselves.

The enlightenment experience makes many things immediately clear. It is clear that one’s existence does not depend on anything except awareness. This brings complete relief and liberation. It is clear that life is awareness, and not what awareness experiences.

So the body, the mind, the physical universe as well as dream universes, feelings, knowledge, are all non-essential to being alive. Fear and guilt vanish because awareness is beyond harm and experience is not part of one’s being.

It is clear that all experience comes from outside of oneself, that experience merely flows through awareness, and that one is not responsible for the helpless act of experiencing one’s experience.

In short, this state of freedom solves every problem by eliminating it, and provides a completely unburdened peace. This is so attractive, so magnetic, that it cannot be actually forgotten, only displaced by the usual contents and concerns of life.

Before the enlightenment experience, one has no idea of life without content. Rather, one’s awareness is flooded with content, with all of its concerns and hang-ups.

It should be noted that, after the initial impact of the enlightenment experience wears off, it can be set aside and one can easily slip back into one’s old lifestyle patterns.

Yet, after the enlightenment experience, one has a yearning for the remembered peace and freedom of the void. This yearning gradually influences one to decrease the amount of experience in awareness so that there is room in awareness for void. This becomes a balancing act between being aware of void and being aware of experience. The less experience one is aware of, the more void one is aware of, and the more free and peaceful life becomes.

With too much void and too little experience, however, one becomes an idiot, and so there is the need for learning to balance between void and experience.

With enough void in the balance, there is nothing in life that can consume one. Life is fluid and changeable. Life becomes more like a movie than a trap. More accurately, life becomes a group dream.

Yearning for the void influences in the direction of keeping awareness empty of experience. Balancing involves deliberate efforts to remember specific things out of practical necessity. The more experiential content there is in awareness, the less room there is for the void. The more void there is in awareness, the less experience there is, and the less important or consequential experience becomes.

Full text here:

Just thought I’d write about that! It’s very true and a great description of how I craved that void, that nothingness except awareness. Hard to explain but the guy is spot on. It’s like a state of awareness and nothing else matters, because ‘matter’ is insignificant when enlightened.

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I arrived at hospital around 1am on a Friday evening, my 18 year old daughter in a bed with many medical staff around her, I looked at her, she wasn’t there, her eyes were sometimes open but it was obvious they couldn’t see what was infront of them, blank, she would sometimes get angry and her arms would  appear to be aggressively fighting their way through something,  for the most time she was lied seemingly unconscious, I asked the medical staff if it was medication or sedation that was making her that way and the reply was ‘No, she’s had no medication, that is the bacteria in her brain making her that way’.. At this point they didn’t know what the problem was, they told me they would be taking her for a brain scan and then depending upon the results would then take a sample from her back (spinal fluid) to test for meningitus.

Everything was slow, nothing happened like it was an emergency and I didn’t think she’d ever come back to us. I was sent out of the room (intensive care) and I was invited back into the room when they’d done what they were doing that needed to be done without me being there, I paced outside the room, I couldn’t think and I didn’t want to think too scared to allow any positive or negative thoughts into enter my head, I didn’t want them to influence me or my state of mind, rocking back and forth from one foot to another. Time passed and eventually I followed them into the lift where they wheeled her bed to take her down for an MRi scan, I was left to wait outside the room. I continued to step back and forth, visible sign of stress/trauma perhaps as tears streamed uncontrollably from my eyes. I looked at a painting on the wall, it was called something like The Admiration (I can’t be sure on recollection) and was of 18th century gentile folk peering over to look at a new born baby girl (or perhaps boy, as I believe pink was a boys colour back then), it was striking how the face of the baby reminded me of of the face of my baby girls face when she was born,  and I was taken right back to the days of her birth and the glory and the joy and beauty of that time, now 18 years later that life was under serious threat. I wept and wept while looking at the picture and awaiting her to come out of the scan room. It seemed like forever.

They emerged wheeling her in her bed and her condition was still the same, I walked beside her back up to intensive care as the staff would from time to time try to communicate to me what they were doing or going to do. I was sent out of the room and then invited back in, this went on as the hours passed, I would hug and talk to her saying things because in my mind her ears would still be hearing things and sending those soundwave signals to her brain, weather she could comprehend them or not I felt it vitally important to stimulate her senses to reminding her brain that there was an outside world awaiting its return, I said things like ‘Joshua loves Ashlea’ and ‘Tell me how Leeds festival was’ etc.. there was never a definate response although I’m sure when I mentioned her boyfriend Josh she steadied a moment as if something had caught her attention that she recognised.. She was a terrifying sight and it was frightening, she would scream as if being tortured and would fight something that wasn’t there as her arms reached out and clawed at the air, I dared not wonder what she was experiencing inside.

I also thought important to stroke her body during her calmer moment, again in my naive mind this would stimulate her nerve receptors and send signals to her brain that there was something going on externally, I don’t know how effective this was but to me it was extrememly important to stimulate her to help bring her back.

They didn’t know what was wrong with her but were trying to find out, I was either in the room talking to her, stroking her or when sent outside pacing and rocking back and forth daring not to think. I know the options of thought were

1. To imagine the worse and she would die.

2. To imagine the best and she would live.

3. To imagine inbetween; she would live but have no quality of life being permanently disabled.

I also know thoughts on these lines could be extended to

1. imagining a future without her; greiving.

2. imaginine a future with her, time together.

3. imaginine a future with her disabled; being her carer.

I did not venture into any of those and stayed clear of thought on all those lines, concentrating instead on every single present moment, accepting the situation and unknowing but able to accept the outcome whatever that may be. I also prayed to the stars for them to save my baby’s life, I focused hard on this thought (of astrotheology and perhaps my belief) rocking back and forth in trauma, the stars kept me grounded, mentally and physically and helped me through the trauma.

Sat on a chair that had been put outside the room for me when I wasn’t allowed in I dozed off with my head in my hands several times for a few moments before jumping back with a start to be fully awake. It must have been 6 or even 7am when I heard the word ‘meningitus’ still in doze mode I didn’t want to believe I heard this word, not sure if it was in dream mode or awake mode, I thought I could commit it to dream world if I didn’t acknowledge it, seconds later the Doctor appeared infront of me and said ‘The results from her spine test tell us it’s meningitus’ and went on to say they were giving antibiotics for it.

Now completely wired up to machines and drips in intensive care it was just a matter of time before we knew if the administered medicine would be successful in fighting the bacteria. I still cried and cried and I still talked to her and I still stroked her, her condition the same, she wasn’t there and would still fight something that wasn’t there, sitting up and clawing the air with her hands while appearing angry, scared and in pain, screaming. Several of us had to hold her down at times, the Doctor’s reasured me she wouldn’t remember any of this. It went on and on. I dared not to think about it.

Time. That was all. I had a positive feeling with the Doctor’s saying she’s wouldn’t remember it, I took that to be positive, thinking they must think she’ll recover to say she won’t remember it. From there on I felt more positive and I thought now diagnosed and under treatment the worst was over.

But I hadn’t slept and I was still in trauma. I was in the family room one time when they sent me saying they’d come and get me when I was allowed in again and I thought I should make her a card, I believe words and gifts and manifestations of things are important, magical even so I checked my bag to see if I had scisors in there, I hadn’t but I had some double sided tape. I looked around for something appropriate to make a card with, it would act as a magical talisman in my mind and it would have the power to aid her back to health. I looked around the room and nothing more appropriate that a massive red love heart with white stars on it caught my eye, it was more than ideal, a coincidence perhaps so fitting, it was an A3 poster about heart disease, I took it off the wall and with my pen I punctured holes all around the big red heart with white stars, this was to be my card to Ashlea, with the perforations by pen it easily tore from the poster and I mounted the big red heart onto an upside down polysteiring cup  I’d just drunk from with the double sided tape. I wrote on the back of the heart ‘Ashlea you are a star, as bright as Sirius in the night sky, and I wish upon a star that you get better very soon, love you lots xx. I also picked up a leaflet titled ‘Meningitus’ and opened it, the first words I read were ‘Help with funeral costs’ and then ‘Grants to convert a home for disabiligy’ I abruptly closed it and took out all the rest and put them in my bag, I didn’t want any family or friends exposed to such negative information, which I know can be influential. When I was allowed back into the room I placed my 3D improvised get well card, good luck magical talisman next to her bed by the side of all the monitors wired up to her.

I still talked to her about her boyfriend and touched her. While screaming out during one of her more distressing times she shouted the word ‘Dad’ and it was amazing, she could talk, she could remember and it was a very positive time indeed.

I went home, time is a blur but I’d been by her side day and night and day & night, I arrived home at 12 midnight, had a shower got into bed and set my alarm for 3am, it was difficult to relax, difficult to sleep just wanting my beautiful baby next to me. At 4am I was ready to leave my house to return to hospital again, I opened my front door and was immediately met with the brilliance of the stars that seemed so much nearer, so much brighter than I had ever observed before, perhaps because it was 4am, it was a beautiful sky I was in awe of and I felt comforted and reasured by my companions of the cosmos, the magnificent moon above too that guided my 30 minute walk back to the hospital.

The next time she shouted out mom, then a day later little by little she came around, she asked what had happened to her and was extremely confused but she was back.

I felt it extremely important to communicate to her that she’d had an infection and she was fine, I trivialised it and did not mentioned the word ‘meningitus’. Each day I would say something like ‘Tomorow your drip will be removed and you’ll be able to eat food’ and she did, the day after it was ‘Tomorow you’ll be on your feet’ and then ‘Tomorow you’ll be walking’ and ‘Tomorow you’ll be able to have a shower’ I didn’t communicate this to her like it was a hope, but like it was a fact, and she did all those things without a second thought. Her recovery was quite miraculous. I honestly don’t know how to show my appreciation for having her back like she never even came so close to death. I am thankful to Knowledge, that enabled the medical staff to diagnose and treat a condition to preserve life so sacred and I thank my luck stars (quite literally – astrotheology) for saving my baby.

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